Look at you
Spectacles sliding off your nose
A hidden grin as someone speaks
Thinking they know better
But you are smart enough now
To play dumb
You won’t waste your time
Your brilliance stays within
Cocooned behind thoughts like fireflies
Sometimes finding a way out
When you write, hum, stare at the sky
Believing you can do more than this
Flapping wings against glass windows
Harder, harder, hardest
You break it
Sometimes you pretend to be thinking
When all you are doing is biding time
Till the next meal
Or movie, book, song, slice of sky
To drown yourself in
These soothing accessories to existence
You think of mushrooms in truffle oil
A love story in pages that churned longing
The flitting black and orange flycatcher
And these complete your world
I love your terrible laugh
An ungraceful guffaw that makes people turn
The way you gasp for breath and clench your stomach
Not caring about joy leaking out
Not caring about mother’s words
‘When you laugh hard, you fall.’
If you fall, you will get up
And if you don’t, the cool earth takes care.
Your body is tough and lovely
Skin that welcomes the sun, rain, dust
Two moles on a neck – trace of a vampire love
Stubby fingers that shape what they can
Shoulders that bear what they must
A plump belly with a printed map
Soft breasts that yearn for escape
From brassieres, stares, gravity
Your mind is a labyrinth
With a deejay and disco lights
To help you enjoy the haze of being lost
While you dredge answers
What lives in a dew drop?
How do good people survive?
Why did you stay silent?
Your heart is a motel
Cheap and open to everyone
Welcoming those who need rest from travel
Or space for clandestine affairs
It is shabby and reliable
Never needing reservations
You never learn
To stay away from the iron-box
And once the blister fades
You’re out there again
Stupid and hopeful
Wild and wicked
Waiting to inhale the universe
Image credit: All you need is selflove, Lily Lockwood
July 3, 2020 at 4:38 pm
There’s a certain happiness in reaching that stage where you look at yourself and appreciate what you see. I hated myself when I was younger, always thought I looked ugly, or too thin, or too fat, not muscular enough, hated my wrists, my nose, and pretty much anything else I saw in the mirror.
My daughter graduated a couple of weeks ago and one of the many things I gave her was the lyrics of the “Sunscreen” song from the late 90s. A particular line in that speech “Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own” really resonates with me, every time I listen to it.
Another memory I have is someone explaining to me how lifting 15 kilos and swinging it around your head was so difficult and tiring, yet when you watch someone dance, and consider how effortlessly we move our legs, as if they were weightless is truly a marvel of nature.
Too bad we appreciate what we have only when we’ve past the prime of our lives when that knowledge would have been most valuable eh?
Thank you for giving me things to think about.
July 4, 2020 at 2:58 am
Hey Sam,
As always, I love seeing your comment and interpretation of what I write. I love the sun-screen song too! It’s honest, real and funny. Simple mantras that could turn our lives around if we tried them.
Self-love is something a lot of people struggle with. And you’re so right about it being too late to appreciate what we’ve got. It’s important that we appreciate ourselves, and examine our own worth. I have been way too critical of myself and humility morphed into self-deprecation.
Stay cool!